A view for a fool
by Beenieboo
Summary: Oliver realises that he needs Felicity in his life as more than a friend.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, and am just borrowing these characters for a while.**

**I am not sure if this is a one shot or if this will be a multi chapter story...will see what my muse advises me to do. So for now the story will be marked in-progress.**

It was raining in Starling City; Oliver imagined it was reflection of his mood. Out patrolling, the urge to see Felicity was suffocating. He hauled himself onto his motorcycle after apprehending a would be rapist, and rode hard and fast until he reached his destination. Carefully he hid the sleek vehicle from sight and scaled the fire escape of the bookstore directly opposite her Brownstone. On the roof he looked up to the darkened skies, in the distance lightning struck and the thunder drowned out the sounds below. As the hours passed, he settled in a comfortable position to wait. He would be patient, he used his time to come up with the words that would take away the pain he had caused her. That would bring her back to him, reassured he was ready and willing to try. Having Thea at home made him realise he could no longer push away those he cared about, those he loved. They could be taken away in an instance - look at what had happened to Sara.

At 1am, the whine of a Queen's Consolidated Bentley jarred him back to the present. Oliver couldn't hear her, but saw her mouth goodbye to her driver. Usually, arriving home so late signified Arrow duties. But that was now becoming a thing of the past - she always had something to do, so she said, but really he knew it was because of him, because of his inability to keep his mouth shut and for once just take a chance. Moving closer to the ledge, he observed Felicity pull her coat tight around her slender form. It was cold, and just like that he unwittingly did the same to claw back the warmth that had left him ages ago. Brightly illuminated by the security light just above her porch, she skipped towards the dark blue door of her brownstone. Diggle had drummed into her security was key; she had to be visible to the traffic driving by.

A low needy growl resonated from his chest, and just as quickly he bit his fist to prevent another sound revealing his presence. Felicity stilled and looked around, clearly perplexed by something not quite being right about her surroundings. Unable to pinpoint what it was, she returned to fishing around in her bag for the door keys, before stepping into the welcoming home she had spent so long creating.

Although she was not on active Arrow duty, she still helped. However, since their talk at the hospital after baby Diggle's birth, she had kept him at bay preferring to interact with Roy or Diggle. When she did speak to him, everything was professional, everything was friendly, but the light and openness she once had towards him was gone - he missed it and in turn her. That incomplete feeling gnawing at him. No amount of training, sparring with Dig or Roy, or patrolling could dampen down the prickly feeling that a part of him was missing.

'You love her man, you need to fix this...' Diggle's sage advice as he gently lay down a sleeping Sara. Gently grasping his brother-in-arms shoulder, he used his index finger to indicate 'keep quiet' as they tiptoed out of Sara's bedroom. That had been earlier in the evening before his patrol had begun, and this is why he found himself battling fear, which he had long ago trained himself to ignore. He was determined to find out once and for all, would they ever get back to that place he missed so much - would she let him back in?

Peering from her living room window out into the darkness, he dropped down nose to the dirt rationally he knew she had not seen him, but still he wondered if she had a sixth sense about his whereabouts. He definitely did when it came to her, whenever she was nearby a skittish rush of electricity would flow up and down his spine, sometimes so painful he had no choice but to seek her out - wherever she might be to dull the ache. Once during a lunch break, when she had not appeared to dig into her favourite Thai meal, on instinct he'd jogged down four flights of stairs, heart racing, pulse pounding just to find her stood around a water cooler casually chatting to Noah Richardson, one of the whizz kids from the finance department. Playfully shoving him away, Felicity coyly dropped her gaze to her shoes as her ponytail swung around to sit just on her right shoulder.

'So, Felicity...are you coming to join me and the others at Archer's bar tomorrow night?' Noah hesitatingly asked, tentatively making a play to brush a stray strand of hair from Felicity's cheek.

Begrudgingly, Oliver noted the guy was no dog, and it riled him to see Noah elicit that kind of reaction; it twisted at his gut. He knew he was not being fair, he was the one who had erected the wall to keep her at arms length. Then it dawned on him, Felicity and Noah had that comfortable gait of people familiar with one another. How did she know him? Had she dated him? He'd never asked about her personal life, if he didn't know it wasn't happening. And if it wasn't happening he couldn't beat himself up or take it out on the lair.

From Felicity's delighted reaction, her body language changed when she realised he was there - stepping back slightly from Noah, whilst Oliver did his best to act nonchalant, adjusting his tie before jamming his hands into his pants pockets as he slowed down his breathing to a normal pace. Stuttering something about catching up with paperwork, then washing her hair, then something that alluded to her having unusual nighttime activities. Only pausing to mentally count to 10. In between the awkward silence, she looked back from Oliver to her potential suitor. 'Rain check, maybe some other time...' a genuine smile followed from Felicity.

'Ms Smoak...' loudly clearing his throat 'we have a meeting in a few minutes...' Oliver locked his gaze with hers, blue on blue, the tension radiating off him, hoping she would understand why he needed her to wait. Never once giving Noah a second glance, he was sure the storm of emotions he battled hard to suppress would clearly be revealed. Breaking this staring contest, he finally acknowledged Noah with a nod, the distraction gave him the split section to realise the overwhelming need to see her had passed. He was sure the intensity of his relief was blatantly palpable to the confused EA.

'Uh...yes...Oli..Mr Queen...' The slip into informality garnered a look from Noah. Their odd behaviour lending credence to the many rumours about the CEO and his EA. 'Sorry, I got to go...don't forget Game of Thrones is on later this week. You'll love it...' sentence trailing off as she stiffly walked over to Oliver. 'Just need to get my stuff...boss...and we're good to go...' her artificially airy response covering the flash of confusion at his sudden appearance. 'Good...' he visibly relaxed, territorially placing his hand on her lower back whilst guiding her to the executive lift.

His jaw ached remembering the memory. He was grinding his teeth, and forcibly had to make himself stop. Having lost himself in the memory, it took a few seconds to pick up her movements within the house. Up in her bedroom, ceiling to floor velvet burgundy curtains were partially open. He perched even closer to the edge straining to get a closer look. The bedside lamp, illuminated her lithe body - her grey body con dress with blue square cut outs clinging to her like a second skin. As she bent down to pull of her heels, a curtain of blond hair swamped her features. He knew every additional inch of those heels, which made her legs, appear more toned and stretch beyond her 5ft 5in stature, were gratefully prised off her tired feet. Now sat on the bed, with her feet curled towards her, she absentmindedly rubbed her feet with one hand and used the other to scan through her tablet. His powerful gaze sweeping from her cupid bow lips to take in her full face. She puffed out her cheeks, now using both hands to manipulate the sleek rectangle. Whatever she was reading was not to her expectations. Snuggling back against the mass of oversized pillows, which adorned her outrageously large bed, her fingers rapidly moved back and forth. Her bed was the one indulgence she allowed herself. _If I'm spending most of my time in dank grey underground caves, you bet your ripped bodies I'm going home to extreme comfort… _she informed the team as they helped her assemble the bed.

He missed her, the way she made him feel like he could do anything especially when Isabel Rochev and her cronies were constantly picking at his every decision. God, he missed that feeling, he missed her, he needed her. It was his own fault, completely his own fault she had withdrawn. First it had hurt and then he grudgingly understood why she no longer would confide in him, tell him about the changes in her life. A well-meaning QC contact had let it slip that she was back working at QC for Ray Palmer. Not as an Executive Assistant, but as something so much befitting her skills and experience. If she let him back into her life he would never force her to put his needs before his own ever again. She mattered, she would know that.

He was so proud of her and what she was doing at QC, but it wounded him that she felt she had to maintain the charade she still worked at Tech Village rather than tell him the truth. Taking a deep breath, and one final look at her, he made his way towards an abandoned shed and changed out of his Arrow uniform into something casual - white t-shirt beneath his black leather jacket and jeans. Ready, he swung his rucksack over his shoulder and quietly descended the fire escape ready to confront Felicity Smoak.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, and am just borrowing these characters for a while.**

**Wow, I'm so pleased with the positive response. I've decided this will be a 3-part story. Like chapter 1, I'm attempting to write this from Oliver's POV. **

**Chapter 2**

Really, it shouldn't take that long to shove a rucksack into the seat of a motorcycle. Oliver stood in the rain positioning and repositioning the bag. Raindrops ran down his neck, before sliding down his back. Quickly, he twisted to the left, sensing a pair of eyes on him. In the dark alleyway, a stray tabby cat cautiously slunk by. Oliver slowly dropped to his haunches, recognising a kindred spirit in the defensive animal. Quietly, he called to it, repeatedly, going so far as to click his fingers willing it to his side. Yet the cat remained where it felt safe - on an overturned trash can suspiciously scrutinising, reluctant to approach a stranger. Momentarily distracted by more lightening and thunder, by the time Oliver looked back, the cat had gone.

Deliberately rising to his full height, he had no more excuses preventing him from approaching that door. Though, it would be so easy to ride away and resume the status quo; to swing his leg over the seat and speed away...Oliver was inches from doing just that. 'No!' he groaned, falling back towards a wall. A deep breath, and then another, and another; finally the familiar tingling of adrenaline coursing around him under control. This time he would not flee.

One step after the other, he stood within view of her bedroom. Focused on the light glowing from her window; she was still awake, and knowing the location of her security cameras, would already know he was outside, he was certain of it.

Barely touching the doorbell, there she stood, out of breath having run down the stairs. 'Is it Diggle? What wrong with him? Is it baby Sara…?' her lips moved, but he heard nothing apart from blood rushing around his ears and the rapid tempo of his heartbeat. Why did her presence always cause such a visceral reaction? Startled by her fretfully palming his torso, he gently grasped her forearms towards his chest.

'Are you hurt? Where are you hurt? Oliver!'

Calmly, he replied, 'everyone is fine...I'm fine.' Then cupped her face, softly whispering, 'I didn't mean to scare you...'

'Then why are you here? It's late...' leaning into his touch; it was hard not to notice the tension radiating from her body. He struggled to suppress the upturn of his mouth at the blush that spread across her cheeks and down her neck - it was unmissable.

'Uh...no..._no_! This is not a...uh...booty call...' flustered, he stepped back to a respectable distance.

'What?'

'Huh? -' Now he questioned his own hearing.

'Oh my God, you heard me!' She screeched out aloud. 'I mean I _know_ this isn't a booty call, I'm not that kind of girl...anymore...college was you know...I had _needs_...and you're not that kind of guy…are you?...I mean if you asked I _definitely_ would...Oh my God, I really need to stop talking'. Smiling at her he moved closer once again. '3, 2, 1...I'm done, ignore what I just said...I didn't mean to proposition you...'

If only she knew.The lonely nights in the lair, training himself to exhaustion to fend off the technicolour images of Felicity being _with_ him...bringing her to the brink, before…

'Oliver?! Where are you…?' Catching the tail end of waving hands in front of his face.

Distracted, he sighed, 'I'm right where I want to be'. With more conviction, 'can we talk. I really need to talk to you...' Oliver's hands ghosted down her bare arms, as she leaned against her door frame.

'Okay...uh...come in.' Stepping out of his embrace she headed towards the nearest closet. Rifling through, she pulled out a towel then gestured to water dripping off him.

'Go straight through, I'll be there in a sec…' walking off to the kitchen.

Shrugging off his jacket, a quick pat down and he was presentable once again. Only afterwards did he notice just how much the towel smelt of her. Glancing around the living room, it had been some time since he'd last been in her home. Turning on the nearest lamp, he apprehensively approached the mocha coloured three-seater sofa, and quietly sat down. A few minutes later she walked in with hot chocolate for herself, and some water for him. He immediately placed his glass on the table closest to him, certain his trembling hands would give him away. It was very unusual for him to drop by unannounced, hell it was unusual for him to be there at all. Observing her bewildered reaction, he stopped fidgeting with the towel, and flopped it over the armrest.

'New picture?' Pointing at the laughing image of Robin Hood above the television. It was definitely a new addition.

'Oliver...' followed by a barely concealed yawn, 'did you really come here to discuss my decor?' She settled into the armchair directly opposite him, right in front of the window. Legs under her buttocks, she pulled at her dress to cover her thighs, before giving up and dragging down a blanket to cover herself.

Blowing the hot beverage, she took a sip, 'Soooo, what do you need to talk about? Not that I don't enjoy your company…but since you're not in tight green leathers and barking orders to find out some vital bit of bad guy info, it can't be Arrow related. What's going on?' She put down her cup, and tilted forward ready to listen.

Clearing his throat, a deep breath and then he spat out, 'us and what I have to do to make that happen'. There he'd said it, looked her right in the eyes, he was deadly serious about there being a 'them'. Felicity's reaction was as expected - surprise and then confusion. Several times she attempted to speak, struggling to find the words. Eventually giving up, it was the first time he'd ever rendered her speechless. 'I was wrong at the hospital. I _can_ be Oliver Queen _and_ the Arrow. I am both, and can still allow myself to be loved...and love...'

Finally she squeaked, 'what's changed!?' adjusting her glasses.

'Thea, Diggle, Lyla and the baby, Sara's death…so many things...'

Flustered, Felicity challenged him to explain, 'if the _because of the life I lead,_ speech is mentioned at all, I will use my hacker skills to ruin you! Again! Even more so, you'll not even be able to get a job at Tech Village. Not that you could now...you're hopeless with tech...'

Felicity's mention of Tech Village gave him an in, interrupting her rant, 'why didn't you tell me you were working back at QC...for Ray Palmer…?

Remorseful, she met his gaze. 'You know why...' Her voice broke. 'I refuse to watch you hide in the lair waiting to die!' His stomach lurched, like the downward turn on a roller coaster. He felt helpless - the shame burning his cheeks. Chastised he focused on the purple rug delineating an invisible barrier.

'...I want more from life Oliver...' she clasped and unclasped her hands. 'At the hospital you made it clear there could be no 'us'... that you couldn't give me anything more than maybes. A girl has some pride'. Oliver understood this was something she needed to say out loud. He needed to listen no matter how much it bruised his ego.

Huffing out a held breath, she continued, 'dammit Oliver, you said that you loved me! And then kissed me! And it was good... Mr Rochester kissing Jane Eyre, yeah she's going to rescue me from my demons good, then you froze me out!' Shrugging off the blanket she bounced to her feet, thrusting her index finger towards him to punctuate each word. 'You do not do that a friend. You most certainly do not do that to someone you claim to love! That _is_ why I took the job _and_ didn't tell you'. She visibly shook. Dismayed, Oliver crumpled back into the sofa, shocked by the vehemence of her fury. Doubt now clouded his judgement, could he really win her back when she was so angry with him?

Back in the armchair, both sat in stony silence for the longest time. Every now and then a flash of lightening followed by the tremendous roar of thunder echoed around the room. Under the blanket Felicity pulled her knees towards her chest and rested her chin. It was really late, cars no longer flowed by outside. Oliver watched as she struggled to keep her eyes open. Not since the earliest weeks on Lian Yu had he felt so helpless. He wasn't in control of the situation; here he was not The Arrow. He was just Oliver Queen; the man who had seemingly broke her heart.

Staring forlornly at the ceiling, his low murmur broke the silence. 'When I found Thea in Corto Maltese, she was the happiest I had seen in a long while. There was a lightness to her...' Leaning forward, Oliver's elbow rested on his knees, hands clenched in the space between. Pensively, he continued, 'she sensed I was being even more elusive than usual…' That garnered a wry smile from Felicity. 'So I told her about you, about us. You know what she said? I was an idiot. And suddenly I had a flashback to you holding baby Sara, and the realisation literally knocked the breath out of me...that I want that with you...that you're my endgame'.

Looking up from the rug, and finally facing Felicity, that familiar buzz skittered up and down his spine. His chest constricted, it was a struggle to regulate his breathing. 'I love you. I fucked up and pushed you away. Please give me...us...one more chance. I promise to never, ever, make you feel that you don't matter to me...' There it was, laid out at Felicity's feet. She held the fate of his life within her hands. Again, oppressive silence descended over the room.

'Felicity...please say something...I need to know what you're thinking.'

She peered at him with red-rimmed eyes. Her voice hoarse, 'since I'm clearly a masochist, I prepared a list of the pros and cons about being in a relationship with you. I had a speech all prepared for how I would deal with this…' gesturing between them '…happening'. In a split second he was on his feet determined to hold her. Just as quickly, she threw up both of her palms, 'Please sit down Oliver, I can't think when you're this close. It's distracting, and you're not even shirtless and I _really_ need to process right now. So _please_, just sit down'. She frantically flayed her arms over her head.

'Do I want to know what's on the list? We already know I can't cook for shit and look great shirtless' instead of returning to the sofa, he perched on the floor cross-legged just in front of her. Hoping the joke would alleviate some of the tension. It was far removed from his real feelings - raw and scared. He was no stranger to people making judgements about him, but he was unsure how he'd handle Felicity joining his detractors.

'Ok, I'll tell you one pro and one con...' the lateness of the hour she was lackadaisical in her mannerisms. 'Pro...when you let me in, really in...in there' pointing a finger at his heart 'I feel like we can do anything...that I can love you'. Her voice was firm, resolute, and then she looked away from him, out of the window and just like that she shrunk in front of him. 'Con...and it a big fucking huge one, when you shut me out, you're a stranger to me and it's the most painful thing ever', her voice thick with emotion. 'How do I know you'll not get cold feet and go all lone wolf on me again?'

'I won't. I'm ready for this.' Apologetically he knelt in front of her, searching for her hands, his snaked under the blanket, and together they meshed. 'Tell me you didn't feel that? When we touched...' He was drained, but she still loved him, that gave him hope for a positive outcome.

She nodded, changing the subject, 'you know I'm not like the other women in your life Oliver. I'm no street fighter like Sara or Helena, or have DA swag like Laurel...or have that single-minded drive like your Mother...'

'Who said you have to be? Surprised she thought she needed to be. 'I want you to be you...'

'But...', stopping him speaking with a finger pressed to his lips, 'when I quit Tech Village and took up Ray's offer, for the first time in a long time, I was able to be me, and I am happy being me'. Felicity smiled proudly. Oliver always knew she was remarkable, he grinned right back at her '...and if I want to carry on being me, I can't be with you, not right now...'

_Can't be with you…can't be with you…can't be with you…_ricocheted around and around his mind, he scrambled back to his feet, it was easier to breathe standing up.

'I...I...don't understand. Why? What's changed?' The bile churning in his stomach inched up his oesophagus. 'Is there someone else? Who is it?' he spat out. Oliver cursed the murderous rage he couldn't control, the thought of Felicity with someone else…it just had not occurred to him. Instinctively his hands balled into fists, ready to take down the would-be challenger.

Matching his stance, she only just reached the 'v' on this t-shirt, he felt the feather light touch of her grasping his biceps. He looked down into her pale blue eyes. She tenderly stroked the scruff of his cheek, 'No. There isn't anybody else. Besides, you'd probably go all _grrr_ at there'd be an arrow poking out of his chest'.

'I wouldn't...' grinding his teeth that she knew him so well. His fists unclenched.

'Yep', popping the 'p', 'you would. Look at how you reacted to Barry. All green-eyed monster. Forbidding me to see him. Anyway, it doesn't matter now. He's definitely not interested in me...'

Oliver puffed out his cheeks hands running through his hair, before gesticulating, 'If there isn't anyone else, then why?'

Stepping past him, she padded into the kitchen, before returning with two large glasses of red wine. 'Here...' shoving the glass into his hand. 'I think we're both going to need this. You should probably sit down Oliver.'

He knew she wouldn't continue until he did. Torn with desire to know, and desire for self-preservation, he mentally prepared himself for whatever was coming. She paced around the living room, and he never took his eyes of her. 'By day I was your EA, by night your tech support. For two years you've been the beginning and end of my world. I lost me. That's so fucking sad, don't you think? I'm freaking awesome. I have absolutely no idea where that awesomeness went', brushing a falling tear from her cheek. 'I need time away from the Oliververse'. Air quotes emphasising the last word as she passed him by. 'I need the world to be all about me for a while.'

He blanched at her appraisal of their relationship. She was right; he had selfishly demanded her time, freaking out when she dared to go to Central City. Barry was in a coma, yet he didn't want her to go.

Glass in hand, she took a giant gulp of wine. 'I've been reminded what it's like to be me, to do what I want to do, when I want to do it...' she stopped in front of him, placing the glass on the table. Unexpectedly, she slowly straddled him, not once breaking eye contact. Oliver froze unable to comprehend the sudden switch in Felicity's behaviour. His hands unconsciously caressed her thigh, as the body con dress hitched ever higher. Where her hands rested on his shoulder, the grip would tighten the further he strayed towards places no friend would usually venture. The intimacy of the act was as close as they'd ever been. There and then he swore he would forever love this woman.

'And despite all of that Oliver, I miss you too'. Before slanting her lips over his, her tongue danced into his mouth, savouring him. And just as his brain caught up with the rest of his body, she pulled back leaving him kissing air, thoroughly wound-up and confused. As she slid off he inwardly groaned. Her position, his position, there had certainly been a physical response from him.

Felicity stifled a yawn, 'I'm now running on vapours and I need to process all of this. Go to sleep Oliver, we'll finish speaking when it's really morning'. Pointing to the blanket and the sofa, she told him it doubled as a sofa bed. Oliver then watched her leave, taking with her what little control he had.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, and am just borrowing these characters for a while.**

**I found this chapter **_**very**_** hard to write, my muse went walkabouts until I heard the following song 'Control' by Matrix and Futurebound. It really hits home about how I think Oliver feels about Felicity. **

_**I don't want to lose control**_

_**but the minute I feel you next to me your fire takes hold**_

_**falling like a burning stone**_

_**but it feels like your my gravity, gonna let myself go**_

**Chapter 3**

Twenty three minutes, that is how long Oliver took to regroup after Felicity left. Acutely aware she was mere metres away, the longer she stirred upstairs, the harder it was to stay away. Every sinew screamed _get up there!_ The urge to act in a _very_ non-platonic way utterly overwhelming. Visions of helping her undress tormented his senses - fingers lightly tracing the dip in her back as she stepped out of her dress, the way her pert breasts sat within the black lace bra... A strangled groan resonated around the room - he had seen her bra...couldn't look away...a furtive flash of lace when she slid off him. Distracted, he thumbed his bottom lip, it was tender. Had she bit him? Head tilted back against the chair; a memory refused to be tamed. The urgent way her kisses demanded his submission, a tug, then shock of pain...the lascivious swirl of her tongue against his. Yes, she had bit him, and he had luxuriated in the pain.

Jolted from his stupor by screeching from a nearby fox, sluggishly he stood and shuffled out of his jeans. Keys, wallet and cell phone haphazardly landed on the coffee table. A flashing light drew his attention to a waiting message.

_Dig left some clothes when he crashed here. Check the closet. F x_

The message was fairly innocuous and typically Felicity, but like so many things between them held multiple meanings. Least he would have a fresh set of clothes for the morning, however he drew the line at wearing Dig's underwear.

Bed prepared, lamp turned off; he crawled onto the roll out and collapsed onto his back. One arm weaved under the cushion come pillow, the other rubbed grittiness from his eyes. His thoughts drifted back to her words..._I need the world to be about me for a while... _It was a fair demand. Who wouldn't want to be the deciding factor in their lives? Having spent five years of his life dictated by other people, rationally he understood her plea. However, that did not stop the selfish part of him thinking maybe, just maybe, she might change her mind. Rolling onto his side, the blanket pooled around his waist. Now faced with the pulsing red glow of Felicity's security system, he soon drifted to sleep.

The smell of coffee and daylight streaming into the living room woke Oliver. Groggily he stretched for his cell phone. A split second later he bolted upright, it had been a long time since he slept past 9am. Momentarily disoriented at the unfamiliar surroundings, a few seconds passed before he remembered where he was.

'Felicity…?' Sleep affecting his timbre. Pulling on his jeans, he padded barefoot into the kitchen.

Shielding his eyes from the influx of bright light; several testing blinks later he noticed to his immediate right, a white island with a grey marble top, and four baby blue stools. Sunflowers proudly took centre of place. To his left, an expanse of modern white units lined up against the wall. Interspaced around the kitchen, a cooker, fridge and dishwasher in the same baby blue colour as the stools. In the far right corner, a cosy circular oak dining table, on that yellow place settings.

Nails idly drumming against porcelain drew his attention. Leaning against the countertop Felicity stared out into the garden, completely unaware of his presence. Blond hair loosely fell over her shoulders, a white strappy tank top revealed a hint of that black bra, bare legs flowed from lilac cotton sleep shorts. Gently he rested against the door frame, hands tucked into his pockets, captivated by the vision in front of him.

'Hey...' he softly exhaled.

Surprised she pivoted around, 'hey...' mimicking his tone with a contented smile. 'So, uh…coffee's up...', pointing to a freshly brewed pot near him., whilst shuffling onto a stool.

Opting to bypass the caffeine boost, he gingerly slid into the seat opposite her. Sweaty palms swept over his jeans. He had battled Malcolm Merlyn, Mirakuru enhanced super soldiers, Slade. Yet this small blond intimidated him more at this very moment, than any of those death defying situations.

'Oliver...'

Her tone, it was wasn't the excited Oliver's back safe, or the breathy Oliver's shirtless again, or even the weary Oliver's being an ass. No, this tone was no nonsense Felicity. The one she used to cut to the chase.

'Yeah...' he resignedly croaked.

'Last night, you said some things. Lots of things, some of them _well_ overdue...'

Wearily he nodded. His smile felt strained, even more so than when he had to face board members during the excruciatingly dull progress meetings.

'Anyway, one thing...you know...you said...' she cocked her head inviting him to remember. 'You said something that _really_ shocked me, and I've seen and heard _a lot _ofthings...' Fixing her gaze on him.

'Felicity...' he softly whispered. Stretching his palm out towards hers, his index finger mere centimetres away from hers. The frisson of anticipation skittered down his spine.

'You said I'm your endgame. What does that mean?' Scepticism coloured her question halting his movement.

Brow furrowed in concentration, cautiously he began, 'on the island after Shado died, and I thought I had lost Sara for the second time, the part of me that felt anything shut down...It was too painful to keep grieving...I needed that energy to survive...' he faltered. The oily sensation of fear squirming inside. Just like that, back on Lian Yu, all alone, his shoulders slumped in defeat.

The warmth of a hand over his own brought him back. Felicity the demon slayer, the only one who could anchor him to the here and now. Deliberately turning her palm upwards, he lazily traced the heart line, pressed his palm to hers, watching in fascination as their fingers intertwined. This was where he wanted to be, the wake up call he needed so earnestly continued, 'you make me want to feel. You make me a better person. I want to be with you. That is why you are my endgame.'

Filled with a renewed sense of purpose, sanguinely he stood and approached her. Master of controlling his emotions to the outside world, on the inside he was a nervous wreck. The myriad of emotions flickering across her features reflecting how he felt right at that moment. Jaw clenched, his absolute focus was on Felicity even though she studiously avoided eye contact.

'Oliver-'

'Stand up', he gently commanded.

Instinctively he tightened his grasp, already anticipating her reaction; felt her pulling away. Little by little, her stance relaxed into his, and soon her body moulded against his solid frame. Afraid she would bolt out of reach, his arms held her securely in place. Tentatively, Oliver's chin rested atop her head, he was under no illusion she could hear the rapid _thud thud thud_ as he tried to steady himself. Inhaling deeply, the tantalizing scent that was uniquely Felicity enthralled and eventually calmed him. Usually Oliver's internal chronometer resolutely kept him aware of the passing of time. But in that instance, right where he wanted to be, time held no meaning. If anyone were to ask, he would say they stood there for seconds or hours or days. So at peace he welcomed the loss of control, contentedly enjoying the stillness all around them.

'You _definitely_ have a way with words...' Felicity finally broke the silence, her breath tickling his chest. 'Where was _that_ Oliver when we had to get QC back?' Lightly slapping him in mock indignation.

Oliver didn't fight the uptick of a growing smile, but that soon changed as he sensed a shift within her. Seriously she asked, 'what am I meant to say when you declare you want to spend the rest of your life with me?' Peering upwards, 'that's what you meant? I don't want to be presumptuous, usually -'

Impulsively he kissed her. Urgently, her arms tightly wrapped around his neck. Clamouring to close the height difference, Felicity balanced on her tip toes, swaying into him. Swiftly, he lifted her onto the countertop, her yelp of surprise shifting into incoherent sounds, as he settled between her legs. Something primal erupted within him, frantically laying kisses wherever he dared - her mouth, her neck, trailing seductively down to the tops of the breasts.

Oliver's amorous attentions were demanded elsewhere, happily he acquiesced finding himself engaged in heated open mouthed kisses. She arched into his embrace, slipping both hands under his t-shirt. When her nails scraped across his abdomen, he nearly buckled. Her legs indeed acting like an anchor kept him upright. She frantically pulled at his t-shirt, understanding what she wanted, his arms stretched aloft as Felicity fiercely yanked it off whilst peppering him with kisses.

One hand splayed against her back, he inched towards the hooks holding Felicity's bra in place, the other firmly gripped her thigh to allow her the space she needed to unbuckled his belt. If she didn't hurry, he would rip the belt off himself.

'Oliver...' she moaned.

As far as he was concerned the bedroom was too far away. Maybe, they could make it to the sofa. Focusing on her clavicle, in his position she sensually grazed his scalp with her nails, he shuddered with delight.

'Oliver...' this time more wanton. 'However you're doing that, don't _ever_ stop...'

'Mmmmm?' Having turned his attentions to extracting her from her shorts.

'_Ohhhh_...that...that vibrating...'

'S'not me...your cell...ignore it', capturing her lips once again. Trying to work out if the counter was conducive to mind blowing sex.

'Oh..._ohhh_…' she happily sighed.

Then the house phone rang, loudly enough to briefly break their momentum. Felicity's head turned towards the shrill sound.

'Ignore it!' he growled, hastily making her face him once again. He jerked her forward, smugly grinning into their kiss when she buckled into him. As intimate as they could be semi-clothed, his body no longer under his control, her every caress sent tendrils of fire skittering across his flesh. Once again engaged in oral battle, neither willing to concede.

Still the phone continued to ring. If Oliver thought he would get away with smashing the damn thing, he might carry her over and do it.

'...What if it's Dig?...' murmuring into his embrace. It took several firm shoves before he relented and loosened his hold. Escaping from his clutches, she firmly cupped his face. 'Oliver! Focus! It could be an emergency,' bouncing off the countertop, Felicity sprinted into the living room.

Alone in the kitchen, with nothing other than his scattered thoughts he slouched heavily against the counter, resting against his forearms. What the hell had just happened? It was one thing to want Felicity, it was another to throw caution to the wind and consummate their undefined relationship. Thrown, he flopped his head down onto the cool marble, and groaned, before refocusing on the cause of the interruption. In the background muffled speaking, then silence. A few minutes passed; Felicity bashfully hovered around the doorway.

'Diggle okay?' he nonchalantly enquired. T-shirt back on, jeans made presentable, he reached out towards her. Whatever that was, the moment had passed but that didn't mean he still didn't want to hold her.

Firmly rooted to her position, sheepishly she replied, 'um, not Diggle. Nope, he's fine. I guess...maybe you should call and check. Yes! that would be a great idea. Go call Diggle...' authoritatively pointing towards the phone.

'Felicity?-' he stalked towards her, eyebrows knitted in suspicion.

Taking a step back, she stuttered whilst adjusting her glasses, 'It was Ray...Palmer. Ray Palmer...my boss', abruptly adding, 'my _other_ boss. Uh, he was checking that I got home okay last night...'

Mentally counting to 10 before speaking again. 'Why did he need to check you got home ok last night?' Oliver sincerely hoped he sounded calmer than he felt. The atmosphere in the room felt heavier, no doubt a manifestation the possessiveness he now struggled to keep in check. When it came to Felicity, it was harder and harder to reign in his need to claim her, have the world know she was Oliver Queen's.

Reacting to his inquisitorial tone, 'oh no! You do not get to be _that_ guy!' storming off into the living room.

Rushing after her, he grabbed her arm to spin her back to him. 'Yes, I do!', he ground out between clenched teeth.

Yanking herself free. 'No! No you do not! What does it matter if Ray calls me? You made it crystal clear that there could never be anything between us...' putting on a poor imitation of him, '...because of the life I lead...blah...blah...blah...'

'Felicity-' he intimidated in his best Arrow voice, pissed off that his words had come back to haunt him yet again. Would she ever forgive him for being so short sighted?

Pointing at him, 'see! There it is, the _grrrr_ voice and face. If you really must know, my team, all of us went out for drinks...not _drinks, _with Ray. One arrogant, handsome, too smart for his own good, billionaire is enough!' waving her arms around angrily.

'_Former_ billionaire' he calmly corrected her. Backhanded compliment or not, he was still seething. 'Doesn't explain why he's calling you?'

'Again, I repeat my earlier statement. Why does it matter?' she challenged.

'Because...' his voice trailed off. Hands shoved roughly through his hair. He needed a second to think.

'Oh my God! You sound like a petulant child. Because what?!' exasperated by Oliver illusive response.

'Because it matters...' he quietly whispered.

'Tell me why Oliver, or so help me...' she was so furious. 'Why can't you _ever_ just say what you mean!' Now yelling, 'why do we _always_ have to go through this song and-'

'IT MATTERS BECAUSE YOU ARE MY GIRL!' Explosively shooting her down.

'Oh', she mouthed silently.

'Yes. _Oh'_, mimicking her. Oliver gravitated towards her, softening his tone, 'so I _do_ get to be _that_ guy. Jesus Christ, not 10 minutes ago we almost...' flustered and unsure how to broach the subject '...had _sex_ in your kitchen'.

'Yeah, we did.' She sighed. Oliver's gaze followed as she walked towards the armchair she had sat in the night before. Rooted to the spot, suddenly there was nothing more he could say.

Elbows propped on her knees, head resting on her palms. Felicity carefully considered him, 'you and your pretty words sexmatised me', barely suppressing the uptick of a sphinx like smile.

Cocking his head, Oliver grinned, 'is _sexmatised_ even a word?'

'It should be. With your pretty face, awesome body and amazing lips. You befuddle my brain'. Pointing to her head, 'you're all up in here, all the time'. Then solemnly, 'sometimes its so overwhelming I feel like I can't breathe, can't move. Like I don't know where I begin and you end. It's why I need time to myself...'

'I thought...' Forlornly, he perched on the chair opposite her. It took all his energy not to collapse as the world seemingly tipped on its side.

'You know how I feel about you Oliver.' Fully upright in the chair, she faced him crossed legged. Either arm resting on the armrests.

Apprehensively, he brought up their kiss last night. Answering his own enquiry, 'you were drunk', voice trailing off, he failed miserably to hide his disappointment.

'Alcohol _may_ have influenced my boldness, but I knew exactly what I was doing'. Poised she held his gaze, 'I needed to know if what I feel for you is grounded in true emotions or if it's because of your aesthetic appeal. Lets face it, you _are_ blessed in the looks department, and you're always parading around shirtless and a girl can only fantasise for so long...' She looked directly at him with an intensity that made him shrink slightly. 'I want you, I want to be with you, apparently that's blatant to everyone else, apart from you...until recently. But...I just need-'

'...time...I know...', finally finding his voice. 'You were right, last night. I do...did...expect you to blindly follow my lead...be there for me...waiting. I never considered just how much that affected you. I'm sorry. You need time, take time...just...just don't completely disappear out of my life...'

'I'm not going anywhere Oliver', scooting over to sit next to him on the sofa. 'I just need to balance my night time activities, against, oh I don't know getting back to my kickass bed before 11pm. You should try it, it's freaking amazing...' seconds passed, he waited for her to realise she had propositioned him, albeit unintentionally. 'Crapsicles...I meant your own bed, not mine, going to bed, separately, at a decent time...'

He wistfully grinned, 'I knew that Felicity'. Quietly, he let slip, 'You got back last night at 1am -'

'How do you know that?' Dismissively, she muttered, 'never mind, I should have known you were there'. She rubbed up and down her exposed legs. 'I feel like I owe you an apology...'

Curiously, he asked 'what for?' If anyone owed anyone an apology it was him, for being so blind, so resistant, so foolish...

'I tell you we can't be together, then we almost end up...you know, having S E X. And when you did that _thing_...wow...' hiding behind her hands, she groaned in embarrassment.

Oliver grinned, a genuine grin in what felt like ages. Well aware of the _thing_, shyly he replied, 'glad you enjoyed it'.

She dropped her hands, and looked serious once again. 'You've not asked how much time I need...'

'I told you, we're endgame...I'm not going anywhere', Oliver never so sure of anything in his life. 'We both know where we stand'. Clasping her hands, he grazed her knuckles with a kiss. Briefly caressing his cheek against the warmth of her flesh. It was time to accept that what he wanted was not a priority right now, and for once he was going to put aside his needs and wants. The old adage, _if you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were _never so true. He was going to give her space, and she was hopefully going to come back to him.

'I think it's time for me to go...and that's the hardest thing I've ever had to say.'

After gathering his belonging, he pulled her upright ensuring she followed as he headed towards the door. Oliver peeked through the window, it was going to be a nice day. The sun peering down from the sky. Finally a little wiser for opening up to her, quietly they stood toe to toe. Tenderly resting his forehead against hers, his eyes closed, he focused on keeping his breathing in time with hers.

'You are remarkable...' he whispered reverentially. 'When you're ready, I'll be here...I'll always be here', hoping her super smart brain would process the words he'd never been able to say to her before.

Felicity mutely nodded, eyes also closed. 'Yep, my choice', half-heartedly agreeing with him. 'Oliver, I'm-'

'...always going to be the girl I love...' Oliver finishing her sentence. He didn't need to hear anything else.

He opened his eyes just in time to register the awe in her expression. There and then he knew she had finally understood. Initiating a final kiss, one hand now tangled in her hair, the other holding her impossibly close. He needed to have as much contact with her as possible. At some point her arms snaked around his neck, pulling him even closer.

Then just as quick, he let her go and walked out the front door. Giving her the space she so desperately needed.

The ride back to the lair was slow and comfortable. Oliver felt lighter than he had done in ages. He may not have the girl, but he would, and he was in it for the long haul. He meant it, she was his endgame. Back at the lair, showered and changed, he tended to the fern she had given him. For once, at peace with their relationship he resolved to make up with the other woman in his life, picking up his cell, 'Thea, want to do something today?'.


End file.
